My Thoughts on Gatlinburg.....I've had some thinking time here today

[SKISC]

I do not like this Gatlinburg,

I think it should be a dirty word.

Lots of rednecks and traffic jams,

I do not like this place I am.



People walk in their bare feet,

On the sidewalks of these dirty streets.

I don’t like Gatlinburg, no siree,

I’ll be home soon, you wait and see.



Much like Helen the rednecks flock,

And they all go home with a wooden clock.

Why I came here I do not know,

I’ve been before when there’s no snow.



Women big and asses wide,

They have no shame or sense of pride.

Off to the Pancake House they go,

To feed their face so their *** can grow.

Drinks galore in this town of ****,

I’ve found no people that I know yet.



The pool is warm and Jacuzzi hot,

I think I’ve found my resting spot.

I’ll go eat soon, hungry I am,

I will not eat green eggs and ham.

I do not like them Sam I Am.



Off to the rat race I soon will go.

I think Gatlinburg would still suck with snow.



I’ve been here once like that you see,

When all the rednecks think they can ski.

It sure is funny when they tumble and fall,

Cause snow goes down their overalls.



All decked out in camouflage,

They got 12 people in that old Dodge.

In orange hats and vests they come in droves,

Just where in the hell do they find these clothes?

This is skiing, not hunting you see.

There is no need to blend with a tree.



Rear entry boots and jeans all wet,

They call it a night and head back to the Vette.

But that Vette is a Dodge remember you must,

That snow makes you dream, and snow makes you lust.

There is nothing more powerful on earth you see,

The snow frees your mind and sets your soul free.

The crowds here are large and leaf peepers are out,

With campers and motorhomes they all drive about.

They clog up the roads, confusion is here.

I think I saw a fat man with 8 tiny reindeer.



Damn this hill, damn it I say,

I need a chairlift to take me up and away.

They do have a tram here like some places out west,

To take you up and away, away from this mess.

It drops you off at a mall where there is nothing at all,

Nothing but ice skating where you can have a great fall.



The craftsman show is here,

Oh what a joy.

Wooden clocks for all and maybe a toy.



There is paddling here in the Great Smoky’s park,

Where you can probably find Teledave just before dark.

Climbing out of his kayak and up on the bank,

Telling stories about all the Southpaw he drank.

The mind of a genius tonight you have heard,

For the rest of my life I may never say a word.

So cherish these lines of sarcasm and wit,

For when I am dead I won’t give a ****.



Tomorrow I leave for my family I miss,

And when I get home I might get a kiss.

For the Crescent ski conference I’ll be back next year,

To do it all again with 3 cases of beer.

[dreamnofpow]

Hmmnnn this took some time to write, it must be bad.

[davidski]

I Like It!! And I don't like much



Give up your day job and follow your muse, she may be wearing a thong

[codyblank]

True dat. Very well thought out.

[scotus]

You can get a T-shirt there lol

[scotus]

and pancakes

[scotus]

and moonshine

[scotus]

and end up like this guy

[MikeO]

Hey now we got moonshine, pancakes and the twin peaks of Dollywood. What more could a man ask for.....

[SKISC]

@davidski 292643 wrote:I Like It!! And I don't like much



Give up your day job and follow your muse, she may be wearing a thong



I like this idea. Might give it some thought.